A life well-pretended and not well-livedis better than a well-lived life, unrespected.Pretending life, dejected,because your living wanted to, unexpected. Dislike your shadow, abhor your soul - the easy way to win. To walk alone is the price you payto keep yourself surrounded -to keep the ones you love so close,content, secure, and not astounded. They'd [...]
I have had some time and insight since my last writing - immersing myself in friends that have become family, church, and reacquainting myself with his revelations and promises to me as an individual. In that time I have recommitted myself to Christ and He invited me to let go of a lot of my [...]
You're 11, 10, 7, and 5 right now. It has been several weeks since I decided I couldn't bear supporting the church and faith of my childhood financially or otherwise. It broke my heart and it was the last of a series of heartbreaks that your mother could take from me. I'm writing because there's [...]
This has been something on my mind for the last several years. I've watched my young ones grow up - my youngest isn't a baby anymore - and I'm realizing my parents won't be around forever. The immortality that I felt as recent as ten years ago was really just the vision of the shortsighted. [...]
While the church is quickly approaching nearly two hundred years, I have only been alive one-sixth of that time; yet here we are. Tell me how.
Our condemnation hasn't been lifted - in fact - it has since been reiterated by our leadership that it is "continued." It means that generation after generation has passed with our people living under this condemnation. In short, most of us throughout our history have been brought up in the faith not knowing any different. Minimally, the preaching, passion, and patterns of those who have gone before us haven't brought us out of the condemnation. In more speculative words, the faith of our fathers is probably not the faith that will prepare our people to receive the Savior at His coming.
You see, each of us being carefully placed individuals with circumstances well understood and predicted by our Father, are going to have different 'hearts' and unique souls. This is no accident, not something to hide, but rather something for us to yield to the Lord so that He can make it sing! So that He can make us roar! So when we all roar it isn't going to be powerful because we're all roaring the single, same, exact words, its going to be powerful because we're all roaring different aspects of the exact same message that we have each experienced individually.
I am a child of God.
Whose Life has brought me tears.
I’ve tried so hard to do what’s right;
It’s hurt through all these years.
There’s joy, it’s here, I know it’s somewhere-
Help me find the way.
If I just learn to force myself,
It will surely change someday.
I yield to desires of our people; being heard comes at great cost and with little benefit. As such, I won't be writing to be heard, I will be writing to study, remember, treasure, and develop myself in the blessings that the Lord has given me. I'll still write, but writing for others and myself is like trying to serve two masters - it can't be done.
I began to recognize the Spirit of God echoing the message of patience and providing peace. Gospel understanding began to unfold in my ponderings of scripture and what was changing inside me. When it came to spiritual things, I found God's pleasure in listening to and understanding myself rather than judging and condemning. As a result, how I approached the gospel began to change.